Clandestine Insurgent Rebel Clown Army

About

Allies of The Army

A Coalition of the Willing has been formed by joining with other righteous armies (and capitalists). Forces for good will battle the forces of evil, just as Goldie Locks battled the Three Bears.

Venture Capitalists looking for investment opportunities with excellent short term returns may contact us for brochures and details of upcoming conferences.

Security of investment is ensured through location of industry in Free Trade Zones (where no trade tarrifs apply), favourable corporate tax terms, and non-existant labour rights. Any attempt by workers to organise unions or political dissent can be quashed through the use of Peace-keeping forces. All these factors reduce the danger of competition from local businesses.

We work in close partnership with the Clown Foreign and CommonWealth Office, Department of Clown Trade and Industry and Department of International Clown Development.

The Clown Home Office provides an invaluable service to the Clown Army, justifying our existence as protectors of the people (including Damsels in Distress) by scaring the British public with fantastic stories of monsters (e.g. the Big Bad Wolf) who lurk within our country and may strike at any moment (even within 45 minutes). Just in case our stories are not scary enough, the Clown Home Office passed the Terrorism Act 2000 to make an example of deviants within society such as protestors, brown people and asylum seekers (who are not really refugees but actually economic parasites). The Clown Army deeply regrets the loss of our good friend David Blunkett from the Clown Home Office due to an unfair smear campaign alleging improper use of his position to obtain a visa for his lover's Nanny (who happened unfortunately to be a brown person, oops).

Ally websites are listed below.